Strawberry Kiss
by Sirus7009
Summary: Random minishots revolving mostly around Dante and Lady focused mostly on the humorous parts of their lives with minute romance occasionally. Updates will be sporadic, you've been warned.. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Strawberry Kiss

Oh, was he pissed. He was steaming. He wanted to devil trigger and rip something to shreds. He wanted the whole world to _burn_, all because of her.

That little rat. Lady, on his precious couch red lips delighted on strawberries. Dante's favorite. He loved strawberries. Strawberry sundaes, strawberry ice cream, chocolate strawberries, he loved all of it. But here she was…

Torturing him. All under the pretense that if he can control himself until she was done, she would give him a present. There was not a _single_ thing in the world that was worth this torture. He couldn't stand his curiosity, though, as to what was in that bag that held his "surprise".

She took another bite, slow and meaningful, rolling it around in her mouth as she enjoyed both the taste and the look of sheer hatred Dante was shooting her. Oh this had better be worth it. If that bag didn't have something that would make him squeal like a giddy schoolgirl, he didn't know _what_ he would do to this woman.

His glare intensified once more; she was dragging a half-eaten strawberry along her lips, reddening them even more. Aw hell, now Dante was wanting _those_ too! Why was she doing this to him!? He moved to stand, only to be scolded, "Ah, ah! You have to remain seated until I'm done, then you get your surprise."

He hated her. Hated her so much right now that his love for her was almost being engulfed. This was the very definition of torture. He wanted to claw his hair off of his head to direct his agony elsewhere, and-

Wait. He had to stay seated. She loved to think he was an ignoramus. And, admittedly, he didn't deny that he occasionally fit the title well. However, he had his moments. Like right now.

She said he had to remain seated. She never said the seat had to stay where it was. He dropped his legs off his desk, ignoring her warning glare. He dug his heels into the floor then pulled, grinning as his throne slowly but surely dragged along the wood floor.

When he looked up and locked icy blue with dual colored eyes, he grinned maliciously as her own grin melted into a look of shock. He had outsmarted her. Something he rarely ever did, and he was enjoying every moment of it.

He slowly made his way over to her, smirking as she shakily began eating her strawberries again. By the time she had whittled down to the last one, he was inches away from her, staring, blue eyes boring into her. She was taking her sweet time, he knew, but he also was aware that being that close to her was making her nervous.

One bite…. Then another… then a nibble- "Damn it, woman will you hurry up!?"

She gave a half lidded glare, then smirked, "Almost done. It's my last one, so I'm enjoying it."

"A little too much, if you ask me…" Dante grumbled before yelping, a sharp pain running through him due to Lady kicking him in the shins.

He kept his eyes on her as he nursed his wound. She took another nibble, then another… then another… and then-Finally!- she tossed the top to the floor. She loudly licked her fingers clean, then moved for the bag.

"Well, you did stay seated. Despite being a smart ass and playing around with the rules, I suppose you still deserve this."

Dante's eyes widened as she hefted out a case of six bottles. This was what he was waiting for!? Beer?! This is why he-

"It's strawberry flavored Everclear."

All negative thoughts disappeared. "Everclear?"

"You've said you've had a few days lately that you wish you could just forget, but you can never get drunk enough to lose sight of the past day." He was listening, yes, but he was also staring at the percentage and proof on his prize.

Speechless. He was absolutely speechless. This was _definitely_ worth the torture, especially since he was going to be forgetting about it tonight after he got some of this stuff in his system.

"What, not even a thank you?"

He was considering it, though he was more interested in another prize. His eyes locked onto the other strawberry flavored treat in the office; those lips he so adored. There was no doubt she had traced his gaze and realized his plan. No doubt she figured he wouldn't.

You give a man a way to forget any pain of the day, though, and you make it easy for him to indulge in treats and not fear the damage he would take as punishment.

Plus, he was close enough to do it without even trying. Which he did; he closed the gap and locked lips with her. Oh, _damn_ strawberries tasted better on her lips! Oh, if only this could last even-

_BANG_

His head hit the floor with a thud. Above him he could see Lady fuming, eyebrow twitching, and her gun smoking. _S&W .38. Haven't been hit by that in a while… Good choice._

Just as good as that strawberry kiss he stole.


	2. DMC Thanksgiving

A/N: Two for one Thanksgiving Special! In all honesty, a lot of the stuff in these two minis are based on how my family acted when I was young, particularly the fact we were bloodthirsty when it came to that damned turkey skin.

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Skin

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Azure stared down azure in a death lock. White bangs shifted as each face turned, eyeing the door to the kitchen only to drift once more as orbs resumed their battle.

Gloved hands clenched threateningly, a silent omen as to what will happen should the opposing youth make a move. In return, a ringed hand moved to pat glowing scales, an arm of demonic energy just waiting to rip the elder to shreds should he even take a step toward his prize.

The prize, you ask?

"If you two don't stop staring like that, I'm worried you're both going to burn holes in the walls." Lady sighed, "Really, all this over turkey skin. And for goodness sake, it's _Trish_ cooking it. We'd be lucky if the skin isn't shriveled up in a corner crying considering her skills in the kitchen."

"The skin is the best part!" Both devil hunters shouted, not looking away from each other for a moment. Just the thought of the salty, meaty flesh that practically melted in your mouth made them salivate, "You just can't understand a man's attraction to good meat!" Dante grunted, still not looking away.

"In your case, you old pervert, that's an understatement." Nero coughed, shooting a glance to the kitchen door again before returning his gaze on his elder hunter.

"He'd take anything that jiggled or didn't have legs to run." Lady snorted, swearing she heard Dante mutter something about legs being the best part through his grumbles.

"Is this really appropriate for our current audience?" Dante finally asked, eyeing Patty, who was sitting on the couch giggling like crazy; he had no idea how, but she had managed to get a bowl of popcorn for what he had no doubt she considered the best show on earth.

Lady took a glance back, then to Dante, "As much as I'd like to baby her, I don't think anything can save her. I honestly am terrified of the thought of her growing older. You'd probably-"

Dante couldn't be any more thankful that the door to the kitchen flew open, cutting Lady short. Vergil walked out carrying an enormous and nothing short of perfectly cooked turkey on a large platter. He placed it on the table gently, immediately unsheathing Yamato and slamming it down, barely missing his brother's reaching hand, "Neither of you touches this turkey until everything is prepared." He glanced from Dante, who was now cradling his hand counting his fingers in fear, to Nero, who was doing his best to keep a halo over his head, though he dropped his innocent act the moment Vergil's cold eyes dug into him. "Understood?"

Both nodded fearfully.

"Honestly, all this over a cooked bird." Trish clicked her tongue, quite amused at the display, "I have to admit, though, it certainly does smell good. Just took a woman's touch."

"Please." Vergil smirked, "I find it pathetic that I'm the only one in this business who even knows how to cook. I'm honestly nervous letting you even enter the kitchen, Trish."

Trish huffed, but still smiled as she opened the kitchen door, waltzing back in to continue "helping", with Vergil hot on her heels.

And just like that, the stare down resumed once more, much to Patty's delight and Lady's annoyance.

"Why not fight over it?"

All eyes locked onto the little girl who obviously was trying to start a war, all mouths opening with a loud, "Huh!?"

"Just duke it out! Otherwise you'll never be able to decide!" Patty said with a much too eager smile.

"You really need to stop letting this kid hang around Dante, Lady. He's a bad influence."

"Oh trust me, I try."

"Oh come on, are you seriously going to-" Dante's voice was cut short as a blue fist slammed into his face, sending him rolling out of his chair, along the floor and finally slamming into the wall.

He grunted painfully and straightened out, cracking his neck as Nero stood and approached him, "Sadly, it seems he's a bad influence on me too."

"Kid, I hope you know what you're getting into…" Dante growled as he rose to his feet, spinning Ebony and Ivory out of his coat and aiming at Nero. He had no qualms with blasting the kid right now. He was _not_ getting that turkey skin!

Nero's devil bringer shot out across the room and dragged the Red Queen into his grip, revving it eagerly, "Come on, old man! You know that skin is mine! Just accept it and you won't get hurt!"

"Big talk," Dante smirked, kneeling down and clapping his hands, "Let's see the pup back up that bark with some bite!"

With a roar Nero dashed forward, flames screaming from his blade as his duel with Dante began.

"Was that really necessary, Patty?" Lady groaned in annoyance, looking toward the couch only to notice it was empty. She looked around the shop, ignoring the fact that half of it had already been torn to shreds, to finally see the little one sitting on the table, happily chewing on the holy grail that the two hunters were fighting for in the first place, "You sneaky devil."

She grinned and approached the table, joining her young friend in her enjoyment; the moment the skin touched her tongue her eyes lit up, bringing a giggle from Patty, "It's good isn't it?"

The noise ceased. All fighting ended. Two sets of icy blue eyes broke from their death battle to face the two girls, widening in a mix of emotions. Shock, distress, fear, sadness, panic.

"What?" Lady chuckled mirthlessly as she licked her fingers before ripping off another slice of skin, "Vergil said that neither of you could touch it. She never said anything about Patty or I."

Dante stood aghast, speechless as to the sight in front of him, while Nero began stammering, attempting to form a coherent response to what had happened.

Licking her lips in both a sensual and teasing way, Lady wiped her hands on her legs, dusting the last bits of grease and salt off-an obvious insult to Dante- before speaking once more, "Hey, you were right. The skin is the best part. Too bad there isn't any left."

The two boys finally regained their voices. With a bellowing roar that shook the windows, the hunters screamed out "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

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Wishbone

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"Either of you move and I'll blow your fucking heads off." Dante growled menacingly. He had Ebony pointed at Nero, and Ivory at Lady, who in return each had a gun pointed at him, and toward the other, "I already lost the skin. That wishbone is mine!"

Nero, pointing Blue Rose at Dante and a sub machine gun he had snatched from Lady at it's respective owner, scoffed, "Please, you know it's mine old man. This is my first true Thanksgiving with all of you. You _know_ I deserve this wishbone!"

Lady sighed, not fully into this whole fight but still ticked at what had happened following the incident with the skin; in the corner, little Patty was bound with a rope, looking as innocent as possible. She had no major interest in the wishbone, just getting to the little girl. She wouldn't _mind_ sharing the wishbone with her, though.

It was a miracle that Kirie hadn't made her way out to calm the carnage, though Lady had a feeling she found the cleanup in the kitchen a far more peaceful alternative than getting mixed into this group.

_Clever girl._ Lady sighed once more, immediately looking to Nero, who was making slow but noticeable shuffles forward. His Devil Bringer was loosely holding the gun, an obvious hint as to his intentions.

Dual colored eyes shifted, eyeing the elder hunter, who had already taken notice; he was tightening his grip on Ebony's trigger. She watched intently, waiting; the moment he pulled that trigger she would make her move. She knew he would blast Nero in the head without hesitation. The kid's regenerative abilities rivaled his own. He would not, however, shoot her. He'd proven that multiple times, so even with his threats she could dive for the wishbone, roll past him, save Patty and have a moment with her little friend both making wishes.

She smiled at the thought.

Waiting intently, she couldn't help but jump when she felt a hand on her shoulder, moving her gently to the side. To her surprise, Vergil snuck by her, casually and without any stealth kneeling down and picking up the wishbone, neither Dante nor Nero breaking their stare down.

Lady couldn't help but laugh at that. Here they were, fighting over it and yet right in front of them it was stolen. She holstered her guns and decided to test her luck; she dropped prone and slowly made her way under their glares, coming back up next to the now practically glowing in glee Patty.

The moment the little one was free, both looked up to the sound of a loud _crack_, nearly busting out into a fit of laughter at the looks both Dante and Nero had donned.

Slowly, both hunters turned to see their most recent worst fear in play; Trish was holding the large of the bone while Vergil held the small. "I… don't understand…" Trish mumbled curiously, turning the piece she had in her hand, "Did my wish come true?"

"That's how the story is supposed to go, though I don't think Dante's wish has come true even once." Vergil snickered, grinning as his brother fell to his knees.

"That's exactly why I wanted it…" Dante sobbed, hanging his head.

Nero stammered for a few moments, jumbling random words and mutters, staring at the broken wishbone, attempting to make sense, before finally following Dante to the floor, joining his elder in sadness.

"Next year…" Dante looked to his younger friend.

"Next year?"

"Next year I'm stealing the whole damn bird!" Nero shouted before once more resuming his dry sobs.

Dante sighed and shook his head, "Just another Devil May Cry Thanksgiving…"


End file.
